One stark difference I’ve noticed between my single girlfriends and my single guy-friends is that guys seem to be able to juggle multiple women, or “play the field” (as they totally should!). My girlfriends tend to date monogamously, and if they do happen to juggle a second or even third date, they feel like they are doing something wrong or being dishonest. There are no clear cut rules to dating, and just as each of us are unique and individual, so are our interactions with each other. The following are a few tips I’ve come up with that helped me stay organized and date un-apologetically.
1 – Give them nicknames in your phone that represent something unique about them. If guy one is a painter, you could save him as “coloured palette” and the other guy is an accountant, nickname him “numbers”. I find it helps me remember specifics about who they are and I can tailor my conversations to spark their interests. If I look at a whole bunch of texts from “Matt’s” and “Joe’s” I find I forget what makes each person unique and send text them with dumb boring stuff, or I struggle to remember what makes them interesting.
2-I know it’s easy to get cold feet and cancel a date as it approaches, but as a rule I always go on a first date unless there are actual real red flags that develop as you get to know one another. You never know who you’re going to meet, and even if it doesn’t turn out to be a romantic connection, you may make a new friend, business connection or just have a laugh with someone who’s going through the same dating stuff you are right now. Side note – depending on the feel of the date, sometimes I offer to pay (if it’s an upscale date, I know that’s probably not going to fly and will make things weird, but something like drinks on a patio is very casual and I always offer). If you know you aren’t going interested in another date, PLEASE pay at least half the bill. No one deserves to feel used just because the chemistry wasn’t there.
3 – They’re likely dipping their toes in the water with other women, so don’t feel like you owe anyone any sort of explanation for dating other people until you have a conversation about exclusivity.
4 – Try to keep an arms length with all of them until you decide you want to focus on one guy. If you get too texty or involved with a guy, only for the feeling to fizzle really quickly, you might find yourself feeling guilty about leading him on (refer back to step two).
5- The easiest way to let someone down is by being kind and honest. If the chemistry just isn’t there, say so. You aren’t doing anyone any favours by sugar coating how you really feel and it leaves the door open for false hope. And do it quickly so everyone can move on. Avoiding having a conversation because it’s awkward and uncomfortable is unfair and always turns out badly when things finally do end and the other person realizes they’ve been strung along.
6- Remember that quality women are harrrrrrrd to find. You are a total catch. Let them court you. Enjoy this, because we all know it wont last forever!