I went on a wonderful date last night with a man I’ve known for a few years. I met him when I was consulting for a company and working with one of his colleagues. I was in a sales and marketing role, and he was the VP of sales for one of the companies divisions. We had attended a handful of meetings together during that time, but didn’t have much interaction back then. I was just about to come off my mat leave, and no one knew I was having major issues at home…
When me and my date first met I thought he was very good looking, but I wasn’t sure about his character. In my experience, people who excel in sales are typically disingenuous by nature. They become accustomed to skewing the truth and are often “on”. He was very outgoing, completely likable, and I was totally suspicious. I thought he was too “sales-y”, ha ha. We carried on a working relationship for the next few years however we weren’t in contact very often. When I left that consulting role for my current role I found myself connecting with him again, as our companies partner from time to time for events run by his company. About a year ago I attended a conference he invited me to (totally unbeknownst to me, because he thought I was cute). We spoke briefly and I revealed that I was unhappy and heading towards separation at home. A week after the conference he sent me an email asking me out for coffee. I declined and said I was busy – I couldn’t tell him I was totally wrapped up in a messy emotional affair at the time, and the last thing he needed was to be roped into that mess. Besides, it was such a casual offer. I didn’t really think he was interested in me. Maybe he was interested in sleeping with me and never talking to me again, but there’s no way he wanted to actually get to know me. So why does he keep popping up in my mind randomly every once in a while..?
He invited me to the conference again this year. I took him up on it, and was really excited to see him. I knew I’d only chat with him for a few minutes here and there because he’s always busy there schmoozing with clients, but I wanted to see if I could gauge if he was still interested in dating me. My ex was about to move out and I was almost in a really good place to start dating again. When I see him there, and we chat for about 15 minutes. He locks eyes with me a bit more than I would think he would if it were just a professional relationship. He grabs my hand and it kind of lingers there while we chat. I’m still suspicious – is he just like this by nature? Is this how he engages with all women? He’s very handsome, he knows he can totally get away with it. We talk about our relationship statuses and I tell him I’ve been separated but cohabiting since last fall. He says “You and I should totally go out for dinner. I just love your personality and I think we’d have a great time. No pressure and no expectations”. ok – he’s definitely still interested, ha ha. I told him absolutely, but I just wanted to wait until my ex moved out in a month or two.
While at the conference I met one of the speakers. His story will be another blog post later, but he’s important here because he managed to find a way to get me to go on a date with him (it was half positioned as a professional meeting because I would have been a great fit to assist with some of the things his company was working on, and it kind of escalated from there..). Anyway, this guy asked for exclusivity pretty quickly and I thought I’d give it a shot, which obviously meant I couldn’t have my date with the other guy. This relationship lasted a few months, and when it started to fall apart I decided I needed to make this date happen.
I decided to send him a facebook message that said “I have a really important question. Beatles, or Rolling Stones?”. He said Stones (the only right answer) and conversations started. We connected and I actually started to really like him. He was different than I expected as I’d always known him professionally. He was actually very kind and just so refreshing to chat with. He was a model and sent me some of his professional shots. A lot of them topless. I thought it was only fair I sent him a topless photo in return. Our messages went from fun and chatty to a bit salacious, and back to chatty again. I started to imagine what it would be like to kiss him (well, as a start…)
We’re both single parents so we had to maneuver around schedules and set a date a few weeks out when we were both free. He asked me to pick a restaurant (a fancy one!) and I picked a place I’d never been before. I bought a super hot tight little black dress, and must have tried it on 40 times at home the day before our date. I paired it with 4 inch wine coloured stilettos and my MK handbag. My hair was curled into perfect sultry waves and my makeup just a touch heavy, setting the tone for the night. I felt super hot.
When he arrived I met him down stairs. I was suddenly so nervous I wasn’t sure if I could walk in my heels because I thought my legs might give out from underneath me. I took a deep breath and told myself to stop being dumb, he’s probably not even nervous at all. Silly girl.
As soon as I got to his car (nice ride too, btw) I saw his eyes take me in. He said “you look amazing!” and all I could do was blush and blurt out “I’m nervous for some reason”. He thought it was funny – maybe endearing? I don’t know. He’s a very touchy guy, but in a sensual way. Not aggressive, just warm. He grabbed my hand while we chatted in the car, both of us smiling. There was so much excitement in the atmosphere of that car I thought I might burst. He dropped me off at the restaurant so he could go park the car and I was a tiny bit disappointed he wouldn’t see me strut to our table in my super hot outfit, but it was the right thing to do since it had been raining and I was in those heels… a gentleman he was.
Dinner went great. I tried gin (his favourite drink) for the first time. The conversations flowed deliciously. It was going so well that we both mentioned things we wanted to talk about but never got to because there was just so much to say. It was so easy to talk to him. He has had a ton of very impressive experiences in his life, and he had such a positive attitude about his separation considering how much he’d lost to his ex wife. I loved that he had reason to be bitter but never said a single bad thing about her. He also lives and breathes for his son. We had that in common.
He was very complimentary about me personally and professionally (I’ve been working on that myself, and he did it with such finesse – I could totally learn from him). We discussed sex and both agreed that it was too early and shouldn’t happen after the date (an agreement I learn to regret a mere few hours later). We laughed and just had a ton of fun together. I was blown away – he was nothing like I had originally expected him to be.
I asked him if he wanted to come back to my place for a drink because I was so not ready for the date to be over at all. He agreed, and brought in some wine he’d left in the car. I showed him around my place and he grabbed me and kissed me (oh thank God – I was anticipating that kiss for hours). We hung out, drank, and fooled around. At one point he asked why I bought a new dress for our date, and I told him that he works hard all week, and deserved a hot date. He laughed, and looked at me like he thought I was cute. I so so so regretted to agreeing not to sleep with him that night. I wanted him so bad! But, he reminded me why we weren’t doing that. He did ask me if I’d be interested in going away with him for a weekend, and very cutely said “but we’d be staying in a hotel room together… are you ok with that?”. I told him yes and that I knew, ha ha. He left shortly after. Today, I woke up to this text:
“Good morning beautiful, Have a wonderful day”